


Drowning Lessons

by violetlolitapop



Series: Bullets [4]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/F, Nyotalia, drama happenings in the dressing room of a bride about to go down the aisle, pruame happening in the background, this is happening in the 1920's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:30:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2331947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetlolitapop/pseuds/violetlolitapop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We can wash down this engagement ring with poison and kerosene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning Lessons

She's not meant to be here. An invitation to the event is all that's been extended to her and little else. This exhibition of Amelia's sister and "proper" friends fawning over the blushing bride dressed in white satin and chiffon is something meant for the eyes of others not emotionally involved.

How beautiful she is though. Not for the first time does Anya feel the gut wrenching sensation of jealousy twist at her insides and consume her whole.

The feeling distracts her, and she's almost caught spying. For a brief moment Anyway catches Matilda's eye and quickly pulls herself back. She presses herself flat against the wall, next to the door frame, and waits with bated breath. The seconds tick by though, and no one comes to approach her. She cautiously peaks over again and see that nothing has changed.

Sitting in front of the provided vanity in their dressing room is Amelia, and behind her is Elizaveta working her small amount of hair into tight curls with an iron in hand. Every now and then she hands it to Lily, and in turn it's placed for a small bit of time in front of the small fire they have going in the pot belly stove.

Anya hears Monika make a comment about the heat. The others laugh as Amelia mentions the other blonde's cropped hair that is far shorter than any of theirs. If anyone, she should have no worries about feeling the heat as terribly as them.

"It's the bridesmaids' duty to deal with all things," says Elizaveta and points for Lily to return the iron to her. "So that the bride can look perfect in every way. It's the natural order of things."

"Says the woman who boxes on rooftops," Amelia points out.

"I have a very hot instrument in my hands, Mia, don't tempt me."

They laugh again, and this time Lily speaks up and mentions something in a low tone that is too quiet for Anya to hear properly. Whatever it is, it has them all quiet down for a moment and look expectantly to Amelia. She can see her reflection in the mirror; her father insisted she be makeup-less but there is a light powder dusted over her features and a bit of mascara clumped on her eyelashes. Her lips are parted slightly, and her eyes are wide and look glossy. It takes some time for her to gather herself, and when she does, she closes her eyes for the longest time and opens them again to look almost watery and licks at her lips.

"I'm grateful to you all for being here with me," she says and her voice sounds tight. "I really am blessed.. to have friends like all of you. Especially you, Mattie."

She turns away from Elizaveta's touch, shift in her seat to face her sister and says, "Thank you. You've done, so much for me, and I've always.. taken advantage of that."

Amelia reaches for her sister's hand and Mattie gives it to her. She gives her both and looks as if she's about to cry herself.

"You're my sister," Matilda says. "I would do anything for you."

"I know," Amelia replies and sure enough a tear spills over and rolls down her cheek. "And I want to do anything for you, too."

"Mia..."

Matilda's eyes darts towards Anya's direction, and in turn she pulls back but does not hide completely. It's obvious to her now that she's been spotted, and if Matilda had the inclination to turn her in, she would have done so already. Instead, the moment between them lingers to the point where she is unable to reply properly, and tears fall down her own cheeks. It's Monika that interrupts them and gives Matilda her own personal handkerchief.

"You're both going to make us all cry. Poor Lily already has red eyes."

"I do not!"

"It's alright," Elizaveta tells her. "I'm sure I do too."

With a small sniffle, she pulls Amelia back to her. "Come on then, Mia. You're gonna ruin your makeup and we still need to finish your hair."

Amelia follows her without a word, and after having her face dried and retouched a bit, the room is smiling again. The girls finish their own last minute touch ups, don their hats, and when Amelia's hair has been curled and pinned to Elizaveta's standards, they all gather around to witness her putting on her veil.

It's at this point that Anya as well, leans in closer and watches. It's a fine piece, with a pearled headdress that is extravagant looking in all of it's simplicity. The beaded tulle reaches the mid of her back, the lace embellishments brush up against the small dip hidden by the loose fitting gown, but Anya can tell.

She knows the spot well.

"My brother is lucky to have you," says Monika. "And I'm lucky to be able to call you sister. Both of you, Matilda, you as well."

Amelia beams at her and surprises her with a large hug. "Come here, Mattie, join us! We're gonna be a family soon!"

Matilda does join them, but while she does smile as she's included, to Anya it looks a little strange. The others don't seem to notice as much, as both Elizaveta and Lily smile and bask in their own happiness at the scene. When they do part, it's Monika that appears to be on the verge of tears, and this time Amelia makes her own comment and the group of women descend into laughter.

Without having to worry much about tear tracks, Monika wipes at her eyes and says, "We should be heading out now. The ceremony will start soon and we'll need to get in position for the march."

The others agree, and after Amelia says that she'll be along in a few more minutes.

"I need to calm myself down!" she says and waves them off. "I'll be out before the ceremony starts, don't worry."

"Don't go getting cold feet on us now," Elizaveta laughs and one by one the girls file out of the room.

Anya presses herself against the wall, hoping that not one of them will turn around and notice her as they exit. Each woman is busy making some comment to another, adjusting their hats, or smoothing out their gowns as the walk off into the direction of the front of the church. Matilda though, hangs back and remains still as the other three go on. Anya can feel her heart beat speed up, she can even here herself gulp. Don't turn around, don't turn around, don't turn around...

Matilda turns around. Her own violet colored eyes seek out Anya's and she doesn't look happy at all in this moment. A frown tugs at her lips, her brow is worried, and her eyes appear too sad for a joyous occasion. There is nothing said, and it's a wonder that no one has noticed her missing from the party already gone. She's just about to ask why, when Matilda speaks first.

"I'm sorry," she says and hurries away.

Anya is left speechless. So little words have been said but their meaning hits her harder than she would like. Not for the first time does she feel her throat threaten to swell up with overwhelming emotion. She begins to feel a bit claustrophobic, too anxious, and she bites hard at her lip to keep from crying. It's suffocating outside, and so with that in mind, she makes the choice to enter the room.

Her heels click against the marble floor and call Amelia's attention. She had sat down before the vanity again, but instead of fixing her appearance, she had been staring at the wooden surface covered in cosmetics and combs. When her eyes catch Anya's reflection in the mirror, they go wide and she gasps. She rises from her seat and turns the the other woman, and say nothing at all.

It feels like an eternity stretches out before them where they are incapable of doing nothing more than stare at each other.

"You look beautiful, Mia," Anya finally says. Her voice is tight and her mouth is dry.

For the first time in all their history together, Amelia looks down to to her outfit and almost seems self-conscious of what she wears. She places her hands against her stomach and grips at the fabric.

"Thank you," she says and doesn't meet her eyes.

Her tongue pokes out and runs against her bottom lip. Anya follows the motion, wants to pull her in close and smother her a kiss, wants to feel it pressed against her own once more.

She steps forward and Amelia clenches her dress harder and stumbles back. It pauses Anya's movements, keeps her still as her heart breaks all over again.

"You should be here," Amelia tells her. "You should be... in the church. I invited your sisters too, so I hope they're here. My father was against the idea, but you've been my friend for so long, and Katerina has always been so kind to me. Although, I don't think Natalya would be here, to be completely honest. Well, if I'm completely honest, I didn't think you'd.. be here.. either."

"You're babbling."

"I am, aren't I?" she asks and almost sounds hysterical. "I'm- ahm. Surprised? Surprised, yes. Surprised."

Anya approaches her again, and this time Amelia does not run. Her hand comes up to cup the side of her face, and Amelia closes her eyes. She leans into the touch, and tears appear beneath her lashes once more. The sight is almost too much to bear. How often before have they found themselves in this position? When curtains have been drawn and only the leftover clothing that had yet to be shed separating them from feeling the warm skin of the other...

"You shouldn't be here," Amelia repeats with her pained and cracking voice.

"Where else should I be?" asks Anya. "If not here?"

"Somewhere. Anywhere that isn't here. Anywhere that.. doesn't make this harder than it is."

"What if I were to say, that despite hurting me as well, I would not want to be anywhere else then here? In this moment? With you?"

America lets go of the fabric of her gown. One hand comes to press against the one Anya has resting against her cheek and tears spill out from the corner of her eyes. One catches against Anya's fingers and she's unable to hold back. Her arm reaches around Amelia's waist and pulls her in close. She tilts her head down and presses her lips against hers. It had been meant as a tender touch, something in comfort, but Amelia pushes against her. She tangles her hands in Anya's hair and pulls her deeper into a kiss that unleashes the bottled up emotions she's buried deep inside of her for this day.

Anya swallows her moan when she prods open her mouth. She relishes in the pain of having her hair pulled suddenly and how it sparks excitement and ignites a fire in her belly that never fails to live with the woman in her arms. She walks them back until Amelia hits the vanity. The makeup, the combs, and pins, and everything else are swiped away and go crashing to the floor. Anya lifts her up and sits her down, spreads her legs and presses into her, molds them close and plants small kisses against the corners of her lips, her cheeks, her chin.

She reaches down and pushes Amelia's hemline up high above her thighs. Amelia sighs and throws her head back, giving Anya the full length of her neck and sighs prettily as butterfly kisses are pressed against it just as Anya trails her fingers up her legs. She settles her head into the crook of her shoulder, massages the inside of her thigh and smiles into her skin when she feels the shudders of excitement rack through Amelia's body.

"Oh, god," she moans. "Oh, god, I want you. I want you now, so much, right now."

This wasn't what she had intended, at least not knowingly, but Anya is not in the mind to say no. She brings Amelia's head back down, steals her lips and coaxes them open once more to drown in her taste. She makes the mistake of tugging at her veil though, and it's like suddenly being doused with ice water as Amelia goes rigid in her hold and breaks away.

"Stop!" she cries. "Stop, Anya, stop! I... I can't.. I can't. I can't. I can't."

Amelia pushes her away. With enough force to send her stumbling back and slips off the vanity. She lands on shaky legs and almost stumbles away. She looks as if she's about the cry, and even sounds like it with how she takes in small breaths of air as if she means to calm herself down.

"I can't do this," she says. "I have to go."

She says it with conviction, but Anya is not ready to let her go yet.

"There are other ways," she says, "This is a quick solution, but it's not the only one! There are other ways to get money."

She may really, truly mean that, but Amelia only laughs it off.

"Maybe. But... this was always going to happen anyway wasn't it? We were always gonna be married off for some reason or other so... why not?"

"That's not true. It doesn't have to be true. Mia, we can find a way to save your family. We can find one together. You don't need to marry him."

Amelia, for as hopeful as she once was, does not seem convinced.

"They'll be looking for me," she says. "I.. I should get going."

She doesn't look at her. She brushes her gown down and keeps her eyes planted firmly to the floor, even as she turns away to leave. It's futile, maybe, but Anya does call out to her, and even if it would have been smarter to ignore her, Amelia does listen.

"Don't.... Please, don't. Don't go..."

Amelia sighs heavily. She tilts her head upward and pats at her cheeks to dry them. Anya knows, that despite her pleas and Amelia's own feelings, nothing is going to change. She is going to walk out the door, and down the aisle, and in little more than an hour's time she will no longer be Amelia Jones. She will no longer be the best friend that danced with her all night in the height of their youth, nor the lover that pressed kisses over every little inch of her body behind closed doors and away from prying eyes. She will no longer be hers, she's already known this.

When she does leave the room, though...

When she does walk out the door...

It doesn't hurt any less...

**Author's Note:**

> -this was from an excerpt of a longer ch fic set in the 1920's from ... idk four years ago?
> 
> -i don't remember why i tossed it out but here's a small scene from that abandoned project


End file.
